Post by Pikachu on May 2, 2010 3:39:48 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm gonna subject you all to these. They're kinda funny (found on SRK)
My alarm clock doesn't say the time when I wake up. It says "Uppercut".
Why didn't Chun Li talk about her one night stand with Vega?
Because what happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas
How did Twelve pass his exam?
He just copied everyone else.
Why did Guile think he had a guaranteed win?
Because he heard Zangief was just gonna throw the whole match.
Why is Chunli so photogenic?
She has alot of frame advantage.
What does Guile have in common with sakura?
Both have flat tops.
How does Necro catch his second wind?
Tornado hooks
Why was Cammy a mediocre student?
She was fine with having killer B's.
Why is it so hard to win a SF4 match with a pixel of life?
At that point you just can't focus.
Why can Guile never reach his full potential?
He's always holding back.
Why do people think Balrog is mexican?
His opponents are overwhelmed by jabs.
Why do scrubby Abels lose?
They just don't know their role (roll)
Why did Gen work construction?
Because he mastered the Crane.
Why do whiffed attacks make you gay?
Because you're opponent can see your missing him like crazy.
Why do vampires avoid Rufus?
Because he always has his cross up.
Why is standing forward always good in SF?
You should never turn your back on an opponent.
Why is sagat always the same badass in each game?
They won't make him a new patch.
What time is it when Zangief will defeat you?
720.
Why should you not give Ibuki your Doritos?
Because she mashes for chip damage.
Why do Ryu and Ken never where shoes?
Because their style is shotoe.
Why is Dudley good at packaging?
He's got great boxing gloves.
Why is Dee Jay similar to a DJ?
He confirms hits when they come out.
Why does Elena's standing short called a week kick?
Cause she has legs for days.
Why did Yun name his skateboard Dhalsim?
Because its also a stretcher.
Why should you not accept drinks from Balrog?
Because he can turn punch into big damage.
Why Alpha characters have roomy kitchens?
Because their counters take two meters.
Why is C Viper's flame kick so popular in the streets?
Its keeps the block hot.
Why do people got beef with c.RH?
Cause it always be trippin.
Why does Vega's mask always get him into trouble?
It keeps poppin off at the mouth.
Why does Blanka always wear that alternate costume?
He's was told wearing a jimmy hat was safer.
Why did Dan attacking opponents with insects?
He was told to practice "tick" throws.
Why does Sagat's real estate suck?
If you get caught in one of his roundhouses it will cost ya.
How do you keep SF scrub happy?
BP system
What is Sodom's favorite quote?
"Sai's matter."
What is Adon's favorite game console?
Jaguar
Why is Cammy such a good burglar?
Crouching round houses is her specialty.
Why doesn't Ken's Dragon punch form a dragon?
He didn't want the hits to scale.
Why doesn't Blanka rap?
Because he's a biter not a writer.
Why did Capcom join the mvc2 fight?
So they could watch Cable for free.
Why does CVS2 have such specific teams?
Sometimes its all about who you roll with.
What does Birdie have in common with mvc2?
They both have chain combos.
How come Sagat's Tiger style hasn't defeated Ryu?
He hasn't earned his stripes yet.
Why is Rose so easy to get along with?
She was made to console only.
"Who was the victor between Sagat vs Bison?"
"I heard it ended with a Thai."
How does Gief keep the pressure in a match?
He's always rushin. (russian)
What is South America's chances of winning the tournament?
One in Brazillian.
Why is Dhalsim the illest Rapper in India?
He spits hot fire.
Why can't Chun Li drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why was Dhalsim banned from baseball?
He would slide noogie all day.
Why can't Cammy work in construction?
She can't drill safely.
Why are focus attacks so flakey?
They always end up cancelling.
Why is Ibuki always gettin played?
Guys like fast women.
Why don't street fighters shop at walmart?
They only have use for Target combos.
What is Blankas favorite diner?
I-Hop
What's the only bomb bigger than Q's Total Destruction?
Legend of Chunli.
What's the ironic part about playing Gief on Xbox?
360 controller has bad 360 controls.
How can you tell El Fuerte cooks bad food?
He always has the runs!
-Why does balrog dislikes the playstation 3 so much?
.... Cause he's an X-boxer.
-What's sagat's favorite sexual position?
>TIGER-UP-HER-CUT <
Zangief gets woken up from his drunken slumber in the gutter by Chun Li clipping at his arms with clothes pegs. "What are you doing crazy lady?" He asks, and she replies "Sorry, my clothes are all wet and I thought I'd use your spinning clothesline!"
I like to put my alarm clock beside my bed so I can wake up super!
Zangief's released a line of HDTVs. They're all 720p.
Why do Q players always get into misunderstandings?
Because people always tell them "Fuck Q!" (sounds like 'fuck you'
)
How is Deejay like a DJ?
They can both lay a beat down.
How did Alex avoid total destruction at the Q&A session?
He parried the Q.
Why did Akuma always teleport when trying an EX Uppercut at the party with the spiked drinks?
He hit too many punches.
What's Yun's patented move for getting the attention of the ladies?
You Hou.
Why did the guy go to jail for buying SF: Anniversary Collection?
'Cause he got his Third Strike.
Why are girls put off by S, N, and K-Groove players running up to them to ask them out?
They are two forward.
So how come girls like C, A, and P-Groove players being two forward?
'Cause they're dashing.
Why didnt Fei Long divorce his wife?
He wanted to rekkancile.
Chuck Norris can tech a raging demon.
Ryu, Ken, and Guile walk into some bar.
They save it for FADC.
How did Guile destroy the car in 3 seconds?
He got chun-li to park it.
Why is Fei Long always sad?
Because no one eats his chicken wings.
why can't ken land a part in a movie?
He's known for role canceling
Q: What did Guile use to learn a better fighting strategy?
A: Hooked on Sonics
Q: Why do people like to push Elena's buttons?
A: Just for kicks.
Q: Why doesn't Bison's home have any corners?
A: He prefers having a good round house.
Q: What's Vega's favorite pastry?
A: Bearclaw.
Q: What's Vega's favorite seafood?
A: Clawfish.
Q: What's Vega's favorite MvC2 character?
A: Cyclawps.
Q: Who is Vega's favorite MvC2 player?
A: Clawkw0rk
Q: How does Vega get around?
A: Heliclawpter.
Q: Who is Vega's favorite actor?
A: Jean Clawed Van Damme.
Q: What will people do to me if I tell one more Vega joke?
A: Clawber me.
Why is Cody always a counterpick character for Bison?
Because everytime Bison chooses Scissors, Cody counters with Rock.
What did Honda order at the Mexican Sushi restaurant?
Dos Koi.
What's the name of Sagat's brother's daughter?
Tiger Niece.
Q: What did they nickname Sagat after he kept hitting Eagle and Birdie?
A: Tiger Woods.
Q: What did they nickname Chun Li after she beat up the car in the Training Stage?
A: Tiger Woods' wife.
Q: Why does Classic Ken in Super Turbo know that Chun Li always wants him to lose?
A: Because she's always shouting "Kick O.Ken!! Kick O.Ken!!"
Q: Which Street Fighter can take your sports bets?
A: Ibookie
Q: Why do Dhalsim jokes always suck?
A: They're all such a stretch.
Q: How do we already know that Juri will be the least played character in Super SF4?
A: Everyone always tries to avoid Juri duty.
So they're reintroducing a remake of Disney's Lion King at EVO 2010. It will be aimed at fighting game enthusiasts, and the theme song is going to be "Akuma Matata."
Why is it that Dudley doesn't get along with Street Fighter's resident psychic?
Once Ken taunted Dudley, so Dudley not to be outdone threw a Rose.
What does Guile like most about his new Black and Dekker power tool set?
"Easy Operation"
Cody's hanging out with Guy, and Guy stumbles across an internet site which allows you to clone yourself. So Guy decides to do it, and Cody just sits back and watches the cloning process take place. After the cloning is done, Cody and Guy and the new Guy clone decide to go out. Cody's wife asks him, "Where are you boys headed?" Cody replies, "I'm just gonna go to the bar with the Guys." (This one is so retarded, I had to include it)
Who is Balrog's favorite pianist?
Bach, sir.
Why was Guile unwelcome at the SSF4 party?
He was a bad Dee Jay.
The electric eel is known in some parts of the world as a C. Viper.
Sagat is teaming up with Apple to unleash his new clothing line, iPatch.
Why do skilled SF players only need a broom to clean ground surfaces?
Cause they mop the floor with most scrubs in just a few sweeps.
Why Does Seth hate doing the Ultra?
Makes his stomache turn
Why is manual tapping a thing of the past?
Because plinking is buffer!
Why is Guy so tough?
Izuna Dropped at an early age
Why can't Blanka remember his past?
He kinda just grew fuzzy over the years...
Why do Cody and Adon beef so much?
Because their Alpha males
Why are Seth's sonic booms cheaper than guile's?
They're free of charge
Why does Seth's car SUCK so much?
Runs on a tandem engine
Why is Rufus so fat?
Too many bread and butter combos
Why do people think C Vipers a coward?
They heard every match she cancels.
What is Blanka's favorite sushi?
Rainbow roll!
Why are fighting games so depressing?
They're always broken down into tiers (tears)
Why is it bad to crouch an overhead?
Makes you a sitting duck
Why are SF players annoying on facebook?
They will poke you ALL DAY
Why is Hakan always prepared for his matches?
He wakes up oily in the morning.
Why are street fighters good travel agents?
They have trip guards.
Why did Sagat get fired from bartending?
He'd feed everyone tiger shots till they were unconscious.
Why can't Abel run a marathon in SSf4?
Because he gets Breathless.
My alarm clock doesn't say the time when I wake up. It says "Uppercut".
Why didn't Chun Li talk about her one night stand with Vega?
Because what happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas
How did Twelve pass his exam?
He just copied everyone else.
Why did Guile think he had a guaranteed win?
Because he heard Zangief was just gonna throw the whole match.
Why is Chunli so photogenic?
She has alot of frame advantage.
What does Guile have in common with sakura?
Both have flat tops.
How does Necro catch his second wind?
Tornado hooks
Why was Cammy a mediocre student?
She was fine with having killer B's.
Why is it so hard to win a SF4 match with a pixel of life?
At that point you just can't focus.
Why can Guile never reach his full potential?
He's always holding back.
Why do people think Balrog is mexican?
His opponents are overwhelmed by jabs.
Why do scrubby Abels lose?
They just don't know their role (roll)
Why did Gen work construction?
Because he mastered the Crane.
Why do whiffed attacks make you gay?
Because you're opponent can see your missing him like crazy.
Why do vampires avoid Rufus?
Because he always has his cross up.
Why is standing forward always good in SF?
You should never turn your back on an opponent.
Why is sagat always the same badass in each game?
They won't make him a new patch.
What time is it when Zangief will defeat you?
720.
Why should you not give Ibuki your Doritos?
Because she mashes for chip damage.
Why do Ryu and Ken never where shoes?
Because their style is shotoe.
Why is Dudley good at packaging?
He's got great boxing gloves.
Why is Dee Jay similar to a DJ?
He confirms hits when they come out.
Why does Elena's standing short called a week kick?
Cause she has legs for days.
Why did Yun name his skateboard Dhalsim?
Because its also a stretcher.
Why should you not accept drinks from Balrog?
Because he can turn punch into big damage.
Why Alpha characters have roomy kitchens?
Because their counters take two meters.
Why is C Viper's flame kick so popular in the streets?
Its keeps the block hot.
Why do people got beef with c.RH?
Cause it always be trippin.
Why does Vega's mask always get him into trouble?
It keeps poppin off at the mouth.
Why does Blanka always wear that alternate costume?
He's was told wearing a jimmy hat was safer.
Why did Dan attacking opponents with insects?
He was told to practice "tick" throws.
Why does Sagat's real estate suck?
If you get caught in one of his roundhouses it will cost ya.
How do you keep SF scrub happy?
BP system
What is Sodom's favorite quote?
"Sai's matter."
What is Adon's favorite game console?
Jaguar
Why is Cammy such a good burglar?
Crouching round houses is her specialty.
Why doesn't Ken's Dragon punch form a dragon?
He didn't want the hits to scale.
Why doesn't Blanka rap?
Because he's a biter not a writer.
Why did Capcom join the mvc2 fight?
So they could watch Cable for free.
Why does CVS2 have such specific teams?
Sometimes its all about who you roll with.
What does Birdie have in common with mvc2?
They both have chain combos.
How come Sagat's Tiger style hasn't defeated Ryu?
He hasn't earned his stripes yet.
Why is Rose so easy to get along with?
She was made to console only.
"Who was the victor between Sagat vs Bison?"
"I heard it ended with a Thai."
How does Gief keep the pressure in a match?
He's always rushin. (russian)
What is South America's chances of winning the tournament?
One in Brazillian.
Why is Dhalsim the illest Rapper in India?
He spits hot fire.
Why can't Chun Li drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why was Dhalsim banned from baseball?
He would slide noogie all day.
Why can't Cammy work in construction?
She can't drill safely.
Why are focus attacks so flakey?
They always end up cancelling.
Why is Ibuki always gettin played?
Guys like fast women.
Why don't street fighters shop at walmart?
They only have use for Target combos.
What is Blankas favorite diner?
I-Hop
What's the only bomb bigger than Q's Total Destruction?
Legend of Chunli.
What's the ironic part about playing Gief on Xbox?
360 controller has bad 360 controls.
How can you tell El Fuerte cooks bad food?
He always has the runs!
-Why does balrog dislikes the playstation 3 so much?
.... Cause he's an X-boxer.
-What's sagat's favorite sexual position?
>TIGER-UP-HER-CUT <
Zangief gets woken up from his drunken slumber in the gutter by Chun Li clipping at his arms with clothes pegs. "What are you doing crazy lady?" He asks, and she replies "Sorry, my clothes are all wet and I thought I'd use your spinning clothesline!"
I like to put my alarm clock beside my bed so I can wake up super!
Zangief's released a line of HDTVs. They're all 720p.
Why do Q players always get into misunderstandings?
Because people always tell them "Fuck Q!" (sounds like 'fuck you'
)How is Deejay like a DJ?
They can both lay a beat down.
How did Alex avoid total destruction at the Q&A session?
He parried the Q.
Why did Akuma always teleport when trying an EX Uppercut at the party with the spiked drinks?
He hit too many punches.
What's Yun's patented move for getting the attention of the ladies?
You Hou.
Why did the guy go to jail for buying SF: Anniversary Collection?
'Cause he got his Third Strike.
Why are girls put off by S, N, and K-Groove players running up to them to ask them out?
They are two forward.
So how come girls like C, A, and P-Groove players being two forward?
'Cause they're dashing.
Why didnt Fei Long divorce his wife?
He wanted to rekkancile.
Chuck Norris can tech a raging demon.
Ryu, Ken, and Guile walk into some bar.
They save it for FADC.
How did Guile destroy the car in 3 seconds?
He got chun-li to park it.
Why is Fei Long always sad?
Because no one eats his chicken wings.
why can't ken land a part in a movie?
He's known for role canceling
Q: What did Guile use to learn a better fighting strategy?
A: Hooked on Sonics
Q: Why do people like to push Elena's buttons?
A: Just for kicks.
Q: Why doesn't Bison's home have any corners?
A: He prefers having a good round house.
Q: What's Vega's favorite pastry?
A: Bearclaw.
Q: What's Vega's favorite seafood?
A: Clawfish.
Q: What's Vega's favorite MvC2 character?
A: Cyclawps.
Q: Who is Vega's favorite MvC2 player?
A: Clawkw0rk
Q: How does Vega get around?
A: Heliclawpter.
Q: Who is Vega's favorite actor?
A: Jean Clawed Van Damme.
Q: What will people do to me if I tell one more Vega joke?
A: Clawber me.
Why is Cody always a counterpick character for Bison?
Because everytime Bison chooses Scissors, Cody counters with Rock.
What did Honda order at the Mexican Sushi restaurant?
Dos Koi.
What's the name of Sagat's brother's daughter?
Tiger Niece.
Q: What did they nickname Sagat after he kept hitting Eagle and Birdie?
A: Tiger Woods.
Q: What did they nickname Chun Li after she beat up the car in the Training Stage?
A: Tiger Woods' wife.
Q: Why does Classic Ken in Super Turbo know that Chun Li always wants him to lose?
A: Because she's always shouting "Kick O.Ken!! Kick O.Ken!!"
Q: Which Street Fighter can take your sports bets?
A: Ibookie
Q: Why do Dhalsim jokes always suck?
A: They're all such a stretch.
Q: How do we already know that Juri will be the least played character in Super SF4?
A: Everyone always tries to avoid Juri duty.
So they're reintroducing a remake of Disney's Lion King at EVO 2010. It will be aimed at fighting game enthusiasts, and the theme song is going to be "Akuma Matata."
Why is it that Dudley doesn't get along with Street Fighter's resident psychic?
Once Ken taunted Dudley, so Dudley not to be outdone threw a Rose.
What does Guile like most about his new Black and Dekker power tool set?
"Easy Operation"
Cody's hanging out with Guy, and Guy stumbles across an internet site which allows you to clone yourself. So Guy decides to do it, and Cody just sits back and watches the cloning process take place. After the cloning is done, Cody and Guy and the new Guy clone decide to go out. Cody's wife asks him, "Where are you boys headed?" Cody replies, "I'm just gonna go to the bar with the Guys." (This one is so retarded, I had to include it)
Who is Balrog's favorite pianist?
Bach, sir.
Why was Guile unwelcome at the SSF4 party?
He was a bad Dee Jay.
The electric eel is known in some parts of the world as a C. Viper.
Sagat is teaming up with Apple to unleash his new clothing line, iPatch.
Why do skilled SF players only need a broom to clean ground surfaces?
Cause they mop the floor with most scrubs in just a few sweeps.
Why Does Seth hate doing the Ultra?
Makes his stomache turn
Why is manual tapping a thing of the past?
Because plinking is buffer!
Why is Guy so tough?
Izuna Dropped at an early age
Why can't Blanka remember his past?
He kinda just grew fuzzy over the years...
Why do Cody and Adon beef so much?
Because their Alpha males
Why are Seth's sonic booms cheaper than guile's?
They're free of charge
Why does Seth's car SUCK so much?
Runs on a tandem engine
Why is Rufus so fat?
Too many bread and butter combos
Why do people think C Vipers a coward?
They heard every match she cancels.
What is Blanka's favorite sushi?
Rainbow roll!
Why are fighting games so depressing?
They're always broken down into tiers (tears)
Why is it bad to crouch an overhead?
Makes you a sitting duck
Why are SF players annoying on facebook?
They will poke you ALL DAY
Why is Hakan always prepared for his matches?
He wakes up oily in the morning.
Why are street fighters good travel agents?
They have trip guards.
Why did Sagat get fired from bartending?
He'd feed everyone tiger shots till they were unconscious.
Why can't Abel run a marathon in SSf4?
Because he gets Breathless.