Concepts that fail for D&D

[dyuman]

Names, ideas, and combination of things that just fail.

A monk named "Deep Fist the Mighty".

[Pikachu]

Rangers, druids, bards, 3rd ed. sorcerors, monks, psions in general, rogues against undead, clerics with shitty domains, raging barbarians that get harmed, fighters with no weapons, wizards who sleep 23 hours and one minute per day, abjuration/enchantment/conjuration wizards, any class dwarf, any class wood elf, some gnomes, most half-orcs, Ancient brass dragons that remain retarded over a period of 3 years, Mipo, breathing in yellow mold, catacombs that go in circles, piercing weapons against skeletons, fireballs against fire elementals, spells against rakshasas, general combat against a lich, calling Kord a fag, fighters with no power attack, rogues with no improved initiative, druids inside a city, quadripelegic and mute bards, wizards with low int, paladins with low stats, Scott and his magical gear, Heironeous, Yondalla, Pelor, Gruumsh, Moradin, Chip and that one paladin chick, Chip and the concept of speed, Jon and symbols, Craig and mind flayers, me and clerics/people with ethics, +5 straitjacket of strength, epic +7 leg shackles of dexterity, +2 Alfred facemask of charisma, blindfold of true seeing, lobotomy of mind blank, static teleportation, animate living, Melf's Acid Dildo, Otiluke's Sphere of Squares, Tenser's Genderbender, Otto's Irresistible Ass Picking, Mordenkainen's Incredible Astro Jump, speaking to kobolds, speaking to gnolls, speaking to goblins, smelling dwarves, staring at a medusa, dentistry with dire sharks, playing basketball with titans, thinking at mind flayers, kissing a gibbering mouther, fucking an otyugh, felching a night hag, rubbing your dick on a cancer mage, eating Beelzebub's constant flow of shit, making paladins and rangers mate, allowing dwarves to breed, allowing dwarves to exist, tea-time with Erythnul, family reunions between Heironeous and Hextor, asking Wee Jas to attend a funeral, cross breeding donkeys and goblins to make ass goblins, Bill & Justin in the same D&D game.

That's about all off the top of my head. I might be a little biased.

EDIT: Added last minute ideas inside the paragraph.

[Duragar]

I freely admit to stealing these rejects.

Rejected Magic Items:

• Ioun Kidney Stones - please don't make me explain this.
  
• Beer of Annihilation - so deadly, but so refreshing!
  
• 
  

Rejected Monsters:

• Dire Lemming - make sure to fight it next to a cliff.
  
• Pink Dragon - Breath weapon: Cherry Perfume.
  
• Ethereal Felcher - ...... Ew.
  
• 
  

Rejected Spells:

• Meatier Swarm - Heheheheh.... meat.
  
• Evard's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion - ... Yes. You heard me.
  
• Mordenkainen's Conjunction - For when you absolutely, positively MUST link two sentences together.
  
• Clown Kill - Because we hate clowns. Those fuckers.
  
• Stinking Clown - And this is why.
  
• Lightning Call - Communication through high potential electric discharge to the head. What could go wrong?
  
• Hold Person Intimately - Um.... right.
  

Going to stop myself here - Break time's up.